This is a people business Craig, you are experiencing it for the first time as a "regular person."
You are an educated buyer with a well-defined target vehicle. You should be able to seek out a specialist in your market area in the same way that you would seek out a real-estate agent that lived in the community and could advise you on schools, churches, kids sports teams and property taxes.
Just FYI, this happened in 2013 lol.
I've since purchased 2 other vehicles, both privately.
Dealers don't really cater to my needs.