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Do well written comments make a difference?

Anyone have/read a few examples of well written vehicle comments?

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Screenshot attached. I would change a couple things about this; ABOUT THIS VEHICLE content could be formatted in HTML and that would allow the description formatting to stay the exact way the dealer wants instead of all the content being jammed into one paragraph - I'd also recommend the placement of AT A GLANCE & EQUIPMENT DETAIL/Installed Packages and Accessories be placed right beneath the vehicle photos and CTA's. I'm nitpicking, but just what I would do - to be fair, that's on their website provider. I'm super familiar with the web platform their using and they don't really like dealers making changes to their VDP's after it's been setup initially.


Regardless of what I would change, I feel like this dealer has always done a good job pointing out the things that matter on their VDP's.



VDP EXAMPLE.png
 
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Hmm... we are talking about comments then Dealer Assist Now. https://www.dealerassistnow.com/
also checkout this scoring tool.
https://www.dealerassistnow.com/free-automotive-product-comment-scoring-tool/

Examples: 19 MB A Class FWD in Polar White

Irresistible in Polar White, our 2019 Mercedes-Benz A 220 Sedan is built to exceed your expectations! Fueled by a TurboCharged 2.0 Liter 4 Cylinder that offers 188hp while perfectly paired with a race-inspired 7 Speed Dual Clutch Automatic transmission. This Front Wheel Drive A Class features Eco start/stop as well as Dynamic Select which allows you to drive according to your mood plus delivers brisk acceleration to 60mph in just 7.1 seconds and near 35mpg on the open road. Our 220 captures admiring eyes with its diamond-block grille, sweeping tail lamps, and unique alloy wheels.

Inside our A 220, settle into an amazing interior that starts with heated leather highly adjustable front sport seats, upscale materials signify quality, powerful audio featuring a color intuitive central controller display to keep you informed. Pair your Bluetooth to stay connected and take note of top-shelf features including keyless start, dual-zone automatic climate control, wireless charging, and ambient lighting. You will love the Hey Mercedes feature.

Advanced safety systems from Mercedes-Benz such as Attention Assist, Active brake assist, and a rearview camera offer you peace of mind as you enjoy the brilliant driving dynamics of our Sedan. Simply put, our A Class 220 provides superior performance and exciting design that you must see for yourself! Print this page and call us Now... We Know You Will Enjoy Your Test Drive Towards Ownership!

Example: 17 Chev 1500LT Crew Cab in Deep Ocean Blue Metallic.

Take on your day with the power and prestige of our 2017 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 LT w/2LT Crew Cab 4WD that's eye-catching in Deep Ocean Blue Metallic! Powered by a potent 5.3 Liter EcoTec3 V8 generating 355hp while connected to the 6 Speed Automatic transmission with tow/haul mode. Get your job done with ease in our Four Wheel Drive Crew Cab and score near 22mpg on the highway! Examine our photos and take note of the bold grille, tonneau cover, running boards, prominent wheels, and high-strength steel bed of our Silverado 1500.

Inside our 2LT, you will appreciate the quiet ride and thoughtfully designed cabin. Convenience features include heated front seats, remote keyless entry, a backup camera, power accessories, and a driver information center. It's easy to stay in touch thanks to Chevrolet MyLink radio with voice activation, a color touchscreen, a CD player, Bluetooth, available satellite radio, Android Auto/Apple CarPlay capability, and OnStar with available WiFi.

Chevrolet takes care of you with Stabilitrak, 4-wheel ABS, daytime running lamps, and plenty of airbags. Whether conquering your work day or playing on the weekend, this Silverado 1500 is a fantastic choice for your transportation needs! Print this page and call us Now... We Know You Will Enjoy Your Test Drive Towards Ownership!
 
We write custom ads for every vehicle that we sell, though we do not have a sale inventory of 300 cars or even 100 cars so it is manageable.

Our ads show the benefits of the features the car has and hopefully draws excitement to the car. Our goal is that the customer is already 100% in love with the vehicle when they show up to test drive. Descriptions along with great photos leads to fulfilled expectations and a 50+% close ratio on vehicle appointments.
Well said. I agree 100%.
 
Here is a custom ad written for our '16 BMW M5. These can sometime get on the longer side because of the options and to show why someone is gonna buy this 5-series over a standard 5-series:
We have for sale, the flagship of performance and luxury sedans! Our 2016 BMW M5 575-Horsepower V8 Super Sedan looks and drives fantastic! There is virtually nothing on the road that offers the performance, luxury and style of this BMW M5! It has beautiful Black Sapphire Metallic paint with aggressive M-Sport exterior style that sets it apart from the standard 5-Series and Blacked Out Competition Package Lightweight Forged 20-Inch Wheels that give it a great stance! We know that if you like how it looks in the pictures you will love it when you come drive it.
  • 575-Horsepower Turbocharged 4.4L V8 under the hood, a 7-Speed Dual Clutch Transmission with Paddle Shifters means this M5 is a hoot to drive! It will rocket you and 4 of your closest friends (also great at scaring the mother-in-law half to death) zero to 60 MPH in under 4 seconds and offers handling that will leave most sport cars in the dust!
  • Competition Package Upgrade includes a factory power increase to 575hp (Standard M5 has 560HP) along with a modified exhaust system with a more aggressive exhaust note and black chrome tailpipes, a specially designed suspension system that lowers the car 10mm, more responsive steering wheel and exclusive 20-Inch Lightweight Forged Alloy Wheels that set this M5 apart!
  • M Dynamic Suspension offers multiple suspension modes and is able to give this M5 exceptional handling ability without sacrificing your comfort! The suspension system automatically (or manually with driver selectable settings) monitors and adjusts to suit driving conditions to provide the most responsive handling, reduce body roll and provide the most comfortable ride possible!
  • M-Mode Button on the steering wheel is a driver customizable button that switches the M5’s various dynamic driving settings including: Power Output, Adaptive Driving Settings, Dynamic Stability Control and the Head-Up Display Information! This allows you to commute to work with the M5 in comfort mode and if you find yourself needing to put a few bus lengths between you and the WRX in the lane over, just tap the “M-Mode” button and you’ll have the full capability of the M5 on tap!
  • Navigation with 360º Surround View Camera System. The navigation is very easy to use. It gives you turn-by-turn directions which makes road trips or driving in an unfamiliar city much less stressful and the rear-view camera automatically displays when you shift to reverse and in combination with the Front and Rear Park Distance Control Sensors you will be able to parallel park on a busy street like a boss.
  • Streaming Bluetooth Audio, a Built-In Music Storage Hard Drive and Satellite Radio are all part of the 16-Speaker Bang & Olufsen Audio System! The sound quality is crisp and clear which makes listening to your favorite music even more enjoyable! It also offers AM/FM/CD Audio, Aux and USB Inputs and has Bluetooth Connection available to sync your phonebook to send and receive phone calls without distraction!
  • 20-Way M Multi-Contour Heated and Ventilated Front Seats, Heated Rear Seats and a Heated Steering Wheel are all phenomenal in every way possible! These seats are power adjustable in every way you can think of and have oversized side bolsters that feel like they wrap around you and hug you in place and the heated seat option is amazing in this part of the country.
  • Adaptive Full LED Head Lights with Automatic High Beams are able to light up the road and provide incredible visibility while driving at dusk and through the night and they won’t blind the on-coming vehicles either! The Automatic High Beams detect when a vehicle is approaching and will switch to low beams without any input from the driver!
  • Active Blind Spot Detection, Active Driving Assistant, Lane Departure Warning, Forward Collision Warning, Pedestrian Warning and City Collision Mitigation are all part of the Driver Assistance Plus Package and they combine to give the driver every advantage possible in avoiding a collision!
  • Automatic Power Close Doors, 4-Zone Automatic Climate Controls that provide separate temperature adjustments for the front and rear seat passengers, Power Rear Sunshade and Side Window Shades reduce glare and protect little ones from harsh sun light are all part of the Executive Package (which also includes some options listed above)!
To make sure this BMW M5 runs and drives perfectly, it has been completely inspected and certified to be sold. The inspection process is very thorough and all of the car’s systems, fluids, electrical, brakes, tires, suspension, engine and drivetrain are inspected so there are absolutely no surprises when you come to drive this M5! If you have any questions or you want to discuss a possible trade, please call anytime at XXXXX.

Here is another, shorter one for a Harley we are selling...
We have for sale an absolutely stunning 2018 Harley-Davidson Softail Heritage Classic 114 (FLHCS) that looks and rides fantastic! Finished in the Red Iron Denim paint with blacked out running gear, leather-wrapped hard saddle bags and a subtle hint of chrome accents throughout the bike takes the classic 70’s softail style and blends it perfectly with modern technology to give this Heritage 114 an incredible look! This bike and especially the color gets a lot of compliments. This Heritage is in excellent shape with just 4,750 miles on it.
If you are looking for a motorcycle that can carve up country roads, spend a few days touring and cruise down the boulevard, this Heritage is the perfect choice! Harley-Davidson significantly revamped the Softail Heritage for 2018 and it is immediately noticeable! It has a redesigned chassis that is more rigid and lighter than previous generations along with an improved rear suspension design that makes riding so much more enjoyable. Also new for ’18 is Harley’s new “Milwaukee-8” 114-cubic V-Twin engine that makes this bike a lot of fun to ride. It has loads of power, especially when cruising on the highway, the extra torque of the 114ci (opposed to the standard 107) really shines! This new engine also runs much cooler in traffic than the old Twin-Cam engine which is a big benefit. The 6-Speed Cruise Drive transmission shifts smoothly and is geared to make the best use of the 114ci engine. This Heritage is outfitted with an upgraded Vance & Hines 2-into-1 exhaust system that looks and sounds phenomenal. It opens up the 114ci to let it rumble and provides the perfect exhaust note at idle and while cruising. If you’re looking to do some long distance riding this Heritage Classic offers a very comfortable seat with slightly taller handle bars for a more comfortable riding position and forward controls with floor boards, plus it has a USB power port for your phone (Stream music while you ride without killing your battery!), an easy to use cruise control system and ABS brakes for added safety. Up front there is a duo-tone windscreen that wraps around the LED Daymaker Head Lights and LED auxiliary lights! These lights look great and they provide significantly better visibility while riding at night. Another benefit is the ease of removing the windshield and locking saddle bags which gives this Heritage a sleek, Friday night muscle-cruiser look! We do TAKE TRADES and OFFER FINANCING as well. If you have any questions or would like to discuss a possible trade please call anytime at XXX.

We actually do two separate ads with unique formatting for the 3rd party sites (under 2000 char.) and our website which uses a more bullet pointed/indented format. The 3rd party (and craigslist) ads are more story form.