1. Stop being a LURKER - join our dealer community and get involved. Sign up and start a conversation.
    Dismiss Notice

An Odd Posting - Looking for stupid, weird, funny car stories

Discussion in 'Off Topic & Everything Else' started by Baron Ringler, Jul 6, 2019.

This forum sponsored by...
  1. Baron Ringler

    Baron Ringler
    Expand Collapse
    Getting Refreshed

    First Name:
    Baron
    Dealer or Company Name:
    Planet Honda
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    New Jersery
    I am working on a personal speaker project, and need some ideas for it.

    I am looking for car stories. Just the stupidest and weirdest things you've ever seen in a dealership. I just need the basic premise; what happened, what were the circumstances, who was involved (customer, salesperson, manager, service writer, etc.), and the end result. Really just a handful of sentences that I can work to flesh out.

    For example: I knew a salesman who had a major coke habit who promised 17 people free televisions for their conversion vans, then quit before anyone knew what he had done, all for the extra commissions those amounts totaled.

    No names, no locations, no personal information of any kind.

    I find that stories like this are a great addition to any type of presentation because they break up the monotony and keep people engaged. .

    Please send me a direct message, not reply here.
     
  2. This forum sponsored by...
  3. john.quinn

    john.quinn
    Expand Collapse
    Sr. Refresher

    First Name:
    John
    Dealer or Company Name:
    DealerRefresh
    Twitter Handle:
    JohnGQuinn
    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2009
    Messages:
    973
    Likes Received:
    431
    A couple years before I start at the auto mall, the flower lady (woman who watered the plants on Sundays when the mall was closed), gets a call that she shouldn't show up for work that day.

    Sometime that day, a couple of car carriers roll-up, spray the lock boxes with liquid nitrogen. Tap the boxes with a hammer, they shatter, keys fall to the ground. Drive the cars onto the carriers, and gone.

    A couple years later they were traced to Europe. Poland, if I recall.
     
    #2 john.quinn, Jul 6, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2019
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. AdamMurray

    AdamMurray
    Expand Collapse
    Refresher

    First Name:
    Adam
    Dealer or Company Name:
    Hearst Communications
    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2015
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    Had a similar situation many years ago (minus the coke habit). GM strongly "encouraged" me to hire an Internet Salesperson that came from a pretty shady Dodge store across town. He was super high-maintenance but put a lot of deals on the board so I just took the bad with the good. He eventually moved on to the next best pay-plan at another store. That's when his "success" bit us in the proverbial ass.

    Turned out he was closing deals with a bunch of expired cruise certificates he had squirreled away from some hokie direct mail sale they had run at his previous dealership. Needless to say, there was a fair bit of damage control needed for a few months after his departure.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. Jeff Kershner

    Jeff Kershner
    Expand Collapse
    Founder

    First Name:
    Jeff
    Dealer or Company Name:
    DealerRefresh & Mercedes-Benz of Hagerstown
    Joined:
    May 1, 2005
    Messages:
    3,437
    Likes Received:
    902
    Location:
    Maryland
    Ahhh @john.quinn@john.quinn I remember you telling me that story years ago. I know you have more than just this one though!!
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  6. Dan Sayer

    Dan Sayer
    Expand Collapse
    Getting Refreshed

    First Name:
    Dan
    Dealer or Company Name:
    Anderson Auto Group, LLC
    Twitter Handle:
    @whostheman_dan
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2009
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Lincoln, NE
    When I was selling Honda's in the early 2000's, had a customer walk out of the finance office and proceed to throw his keys into the side of his brand-new Accord. It left a chip in the paint and my jaw on the floor. He then let out a breath of relief and stated, "There, now I don't have to park it away from everybody or worry about getting a scratch anymore. First one is done".
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  7. john.quinn

    john.quinn
    Expand Collapse
    Sr. Refresher

    First Name:
    John
    Dealer or Company Name:
    DealerRefresh
    Twitter Handle:
    JohnGQuinn
    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2009
    Messages:
    973
    Likes Received:
    431
    True Story:

    Late 90's, one of THE FIRST Volvo S80's to hit the dealership in the US. Sell it to a young urban professional, nice guy, successful, banking... but Mom said to be home by 5:00 and he was gonna be home by 4:55.

    These cars had issues... no other way to say it. The "Volvo Keys" (battery jump boxes) were never far -- car couldn't sit for more than 3 days without the battery dying. Delivery day arrives, can't get the car out of polish, dead battery. Signed him up, told him I'd personally deliver the car -- about 45 mins away.

    Next day I'm driving up the highway, and I see "flashing" up front, driver's side quarter panel. I figure it's an odd reflection from cars on the other side of the road, but I keep seeing it. So I decide to pull over into a shopping mall parking lot.

    I get out and walk up... there in the front, the ENTIRE driver's side headlight assembly is hanging over the bumper. The electric wires are the only thing keeping it off the ground. The whole thing is just dangling, swaying in the breeze.

    I grab it, inspect it... didn't see any damage.

    "Welp, looks like if I just jam it in here real hard, maybe it'll stick."

    And it did.

    So I continued on and completed my delivery.

    But I did feel bad for people buying that first generation S80. They should've named it "The Gremlin"

    upload_2019-7-10_8-51-3.jpeg
     
  8. Dan Sayer

    Dan Sayer
    Expand Collapse
    Getting Refreshed

    First Name:
    Dan
    Dealer or Company Name:
    Anderson Auto Group, LLC
    Twitter Handle:
    @whostheman_dan
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2009
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Lincoln, NE
    Another one. Hired a salesman that was previously a manager at another dealership in town. The store he had come from had a "reputation". He told us the story of a phone that was in a conference room at the other store. This phone had one purpose in life; to scare the crap out of sales people. He was trained to scream and rant during morning sales meetings and to emphasize his point, pull the phone off the wall and launch it across the room! Same store would fire sales people in morning meetings by playing hangman and spelling out the sales person's name on the whiteboard. He didn't stay at our store long as the state wouldn't approve his sales license...
     
    Collapse Signature Expand Signature
  9. Baron Ringler

    Baron Ringler
    Expand Collapse
    Getting Refreshed

    First Name:
    Baron
    Dealer or Company Name:
    Planet Honda
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    New Jersery
    Let me share one with all of you...

    The Interview Files, chapter “Holy F&@k! That’s Amazing”!

    Group interview, 11 people. Anyone ever read Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None”? Here we go:

    Me: does anyone have a problem with a drug test?

    <8 people stand up to leave>

    Me: we don’t test for marijuana

    <7 people sit back down>

    Me: it’s a hair test

    <2 people jump up as if their seats had set their asses on fire>. I’m down to 8.

    Me: anyone have a problem with a background check?

    <one person leaves. Another asks, “what if you weren’t convicted?”> Down to 6.

    Me: it’s a 44hr work week. Here’s a sample schedule.

    <2 leave> 4 to go

    Me: here’s the pay plan, a combo of salary and commission.

    <2 leave> One has a snarky attitude as she goes, saying that she can’t live on that. It’s a $40k-$60k job and she currently makes minimum wage at a Kindercare Learning Center. 2 to go.

    Me: job description and responsibilities.

    <1 leaves> says it’s not for him. Fair enough, but I’m disappointed. This is the one I really wanted to hire.

    Me to Charlie Bucket: if you are interested, come back on Friday for a second interview and we can put it all together.

    <That’s great! I’ll be here. Can I borrow $20 for an Uber? I have no other way to get home.>

    Me: Do you have a license?

    <yes, but no car. I have no idea how I’ll get here>

    Me: I need reliability. Are you able to get here on time?

    <maybe. I’m not sure>

    Me: here’s 20. Call me when you have reliable transportation.

    And Then There Were None
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. john.quinn

    john.quinn
    Expand Collapse
    Sr. Refresher

    First Name:
    John
    Dealer or Company Name:
    DealerRefresh
    Twitter Handle:
    JohnGQuinn
    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2009
    Messages:
    973
    Likes Received:
    431
    It's like 1999/2000 or so.... I figure a way to import email addresses in Outlook Express... we had maybe 3000ish at the time.

    I craft and blast the dealership's first Email Blast. Heavy imagery, of course.

    My first reply: "Hey Idiot! Ever hear of 'bcc'?"

    I, in fact had not... so people had to scroll through 3000 lines of email addresses to see what I sent.

    That's my, "Ohhhhh..... so that's what bcc is" moment.

    :egads:
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. ChrisR

    ChrisR
    Expand Collapse
    Refresher

    First Name:
    Christian
    Dealer or Company Name:
    Findlay Auto Group
    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2015
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    62
    Location:
    Prescott, AZ
    Service writer told me this one...

    Customer comes in, asks if a car can suffer from carbon monoxide poisoning, she is pretty sure her car was not running due to CO poisoning.

    Car gets towed in, battery had zero charge, noticed fuel was completely empty. Charge (or replace) the battery, add fuel, car ran just fine.

    Bring customer back in, explain battery was the issue, and ask why the suspicion of CO poisoning for a car.

    Turns out husband killed himself with the exhaust in their garage, car ran out of fuel, battery ran out, and thus her wondering if a car could "die" from carbon monoxide poisoning.
     
    • Like Like x 1

Share This Page

This forum sponsored by...