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Wanna Have Sex?

ddavis

Boss
Jun 28, 2011
1,493
495
First Name
Doug
When I first went to college I met a hippy that would stand outside the student union building and ask women, "do you wanna have sex". This is the ultimate in playing the odds.

I was looking at a new car SRP page on AutoTrader. Looking down the list of cars, you see the picture and the price and then the description. Look at some of these:

CONCIERGE PLUS SERVICE. FREE 5 YEAR/100,000 MAINTENANCE.OIL AND FLITER CHANGES MULTI POINT INSPECTIONS FREE LOANER CARS AND CAR WASHES FOR LIFE.

All capital letters. I use caps but sparingly. What exactly is a fliter change? That might appeal to one of those Dealer.com guys.


Cocoa/Lt Neut Lth Leather. What a price for a 14! Call ASAP! Jupiter Chevrolet is very proud to offer this outstanding-looking 2014 Chevrolet Malibu. A great gas saver with a surprising amount of room for its size! Save

When I first started reading this, I thought it was Spanish. Who is going to click on this?


Right car! Right price! Hey! Look right here! When was the last time you smiled as you turned the ignition key? Feel it again with this great-looking 2014 Chevrolet Malibu. You just simply can't beat a Chevrolet product. Ask us about the

I know what software produced this. Anyone else know? Customers will see this over and over.


Air Conditioning,Vanity Mirrors,Vehicle Stability Assist,Multifunction Display,Turn Signal Mirrors,EBD Electronic Brake Dist,EBA Emergency Brake Asst,Child Safety Locks,Auto Express Down Window,Anti Theft/Security System,Dual Air Bags,Side Air Bag

Here is your classic VIN decoder. This was on a $38K Malibu LTZ. Are these the best options he could select for this vehicle?

All of these came from the same SRP page. If your descriptions look like any of these, don't blame AutoTrader. In fact, don't waste your money.

Everyone has WordPad as it comes free with any Windows program. WordPad is not formatted so you don't get any of those Chinese looking letters. Spell out "inch" or it will product one of those also. I did use HTML but it was more of a hassle.

I used it to develop my description library for new cars. I got a stack of brochures and loaded up the factory website. I saw what they spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to have produced. I then took that information and some reviews from various car sites and built my library. I had different descriptions for every trim level within every model. After it was built, it was easy to cut and paste. I would then type the major options at the very beginning in Caps.

At this point, the customer only wants information on the vehicle. The sales pitch comes at the end. Up front you might as well be asking, "wanna have sex".

These same comments go on their website!



 
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ddavis

Boss
Jun 28, 2011
1,493
495
First Name
Doug
Dan, I don't know but he was tenacious. I can't imagine who or what took him up on it. Actually, he would say, "wanna ball" but that is '60s vernacular and I didn't know how many would understand. That was the "sex, drugs and rock 'n roll" era. Birth control came out, there were no STDs that couldn't be cured and nothing that would kill you. Women were burning their bras (I carried a zippo lighter). "Make love, not war" was the cry. Once a month, the campus virgins society held their meeting. It was in the phone booth by the girls gym.

I see what you took away from my writing.
 
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bono426

Lot Lizard
Aug 26, 2013
50
6
First Name
Charlie
well, what you did with this title "wanna have sex" got me and 86 other people to look at your post. Doing anything to stick out to someone scrolling through all these autotrader ads ups your chances of someone looking at it. SO BY TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES IT STICK OUT MORE THAN this.

Look on craigslist, theres a bunch of ***~~~~&[email protected] NEW 2014 Altima ***~~~%$# in the listings, they stick out more.

Does it lead to more sales? who knows... but it gets people to notice your ad!
 

yagoparamo

Boss
Dec 30, 2009
1,892
494
First Name
Yago
well, what you did with this title "wanna have sex" got me and 86 other people to look at your post. Doing anything to stick out to someone scrolling through all these autotrader ads ups your chances of someone looking at it. SO BY TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES IT STICK OUT MORE THAN this.

Look on craigslist, theres a bunch of ***~~~~&[email protected] NEW 2014 Altima ***~~~%$# in the listings, they stick out more.

Does it lead to more sales? who knows... but it gets people to notice your ad!
Always a new advertising tactic to learn...

A few years back (ten or so) there was a dealer (I think DC motors) that had a website called hottiesonhoods.com so they had their Ferraris, Lambos, etc photographed with really good looking bikini models.

Just a few years ago a local Seattle dealer tried something similar but--as I remember but can't verify--websites like Autotrader stopped their feed.
 

Daniel J. Mondello

Rust & Dust
Oct 17, 2011
181
49
First Name
Dan
Dan, I don't know but he was tenacious. I can't imagine who or what took him up on it. Actually, he would say, "wanna ball" but that is '60s vernacular and I didn't know how many would understand. That was the "sex, drugs and rock 'n roll" era. Birth control came out, there were no STDs that couldn't be cured and nothing that would kill you. Women were burning their bras (I carried a zippo lighter). "Make love, not war" was the cry. Once a month, the campus virgins society held their meeting. It was in the phone booth by the girls gym.

I see what you took away from my writing.
The Hippie was a dude!? Buzz Kill!
 

Eley Duke

Hat Trick
Nov 30, 2009
472
254
First Name
Eley
So Doug, did you ever get the hippies closing ratio? Was it better than a purple gorilla on the roof?

Title was a good way to get all the refreshers interest, but I like your point. I hate the canned robot descriptions just as much as you, and I feel the general public sees right through it, maybe not 100%. Most savy car buyers I would think are more interested in the options list vs "Hey hey hey, great buy, LOOK, 1 owner, LOW MILES, smoke free, new windshield wiper blades, young new sales guy hasn't even tried it out on Sat night yet, LOOK, best deal for you on this carfax 1 owner, LOOK".

I got so sick of the vin explodes and canned stuff we stopped doing the automated descriptions. We don't have time to have someone write custom descriptions right now. So we backed off it, and we focus on the features and benefits when we talk to people about the vehicles. I honestly have not seen a difference since we do not have the canned descriptions.
 
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ddavis

Boss
Jun 28, 2011
1,493
495
First Name
Doug
I think it was about equal to balloons, a purple gorilla or free hot dogs. I don't think he was too discriminating, he asked every woman: blind, crippled, crazy, eighteen to eighty.

Eley, you didn't see a difference in your VDPs when you started doing custom descriptions? I saw a huge jump after about 90 days. I used to write all of used car descriptions. I did it so long, I became really fast at it. For new, I built a library and it was a matter of cut and past. Building a library took time and I was constantly editing it.
 
Sep 10, 2020
3
0
First Name
Joe
Great post! The OP posted this years ago, but it really couldn't be any more relevant than it is now. Google will penalize you for repeated words and push you down in search results. You also don't show up well searches when you use terms like "DOHC," "2dr CPE", or "VVTi." No one is searching for those words. It is essential to use the words your customers are searching for. Google is in the information business, and if you are supplying them with less than stellar information, you end up being a lower result in searches.
 
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