I thought you might like this as much as I did.
If you have seen it already, my apologies.
An SEO expert walks into a bar....
- Thread starter Don Scott
- Start date
I thought you might like this as much as I did.
If you have seen it already, my apologies.
A man walks in to a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.
Damn I suck at jokes.
Damn I suck at jokes.
- Dec 2, 2009
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- 720
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- First Name
- John
Horse walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long face?" badum-bshhh! Great jokes!! Thanks Don and Nephew Pistell!
Did you hear about the guy with a bad computer mouse ? It was a real drag
Did you hear about the 2 spiders in the corner ? Developing their own website
One of the spiders fell and broke one of it's legs. They went to the hospital and he ended up with a webcast.
I am searching for others....
Did you hear about the 2 spiders in the corner ? Developing their own website
One of the spiders fell and broke one of it's legs. They went to the hospital and he ended up with a webcast.
I am searching for others....
- Dec 2, 2009
- 1,047
- 720
- Awards
- 9
- First Name
- John
OK... last one, I promise.
Three ropes hop into a bar and a grab a table.
1st rope hops up the the bartender and says, "Barkeep, how about a pitcher of beer?"
Bartender eyes him up and down and says, "We don't serve ropes in here."
The dejected rope hopped back to the table to report the bad news.
The 2nd rope says, "I'll handle this." He gets the bartender's attention and asks for some cigars.
Bartender gruffly replies "Ay -- told your buddy, we don't serve ropes in here!"
Same as the 1st, back to the table, where the 3rd rope says "I got this!"
He hops to the men's room, pulls out a comb, runs it vigorously through all of his fibers, twists himself all up, and makes his way back to the bar.
"Hey Bartender, hows about a pitcher of beer?"
The bartender eyes him closely and asks, "Hey - -aren't you a rope??"
To which he replies.... (wait for it.....)
"Nope, I'm afraid not..."
"Frayed Knot" get it? tehe
Three ropes hop into a bar and a grab a table.
1st rope hops up the the bartender and says, "Barkeep, how about a pitcher of beer?"
Bartender eyes him up and down and says, "We don't serve ropes in here."
The dejected rope hopped back to the table to report the bad news.
The 2nd rope says, "I'll handle this." He gets the bartender's attention and asks for some cigars.
Bartender gruffly replies "Ay -- told your buddy, we don't serve ropes in here!"
Same as the 1st, back to the table, where the 3rd rope says "I got this!"
He hops to the men's room, pulls out a comb, runs it vigorously through all of his fibers, twists himself all up, and makes his way back to the bar.
"Hey Bartender, hows about a pitcher of beer?"
The bartender eyes him closely and asks, "Hey - -aren't you a rope??"
To which he replies.... (wait for it.....)
"Nope, I'm afraid not..."
"Frayed Knot" get it? tehe
That is so old and has nothing to do with computers... All of mine did.. so there ! 
I test drove some one in a used car. During the drive he said " this car drives funny". I said "I'm sorry sir, it was just traded in by a clown"
I test drove some one in a used car. During the drive he said " this car drives funny". I said "I'm sorry sir, it was just traded in by a clown"
Baby seal walks into a bar, bartender says what'll ya have. Baby seal says anything but a Canadian club on the rocks.
- May 1, 2006
- 3,624
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- Alex
ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide" The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
