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Rate My Cold Email

I absolutely love your subject. I would open that email too.
Your subject and body are both good.
In my experience, you want your email to be short and to the point.
Maybe you could consider a smaller body like the one below?


Subject: I’m 17, Can I Help Out?
Body:
Hi Mr. (NAME)!

I saw videos posted by your (DEALERSHIP/COMPANY) about your (CARS/SERVICE) but your videos should be getting much more likes and views, especially with (NUMBER) followers.

I’m 17 years old, and I understand SM better than most people. I can help strengthen your presence on SM and grow your following/views.
(I’m also certified in Marketing, and I’ve been a car enthusiast my entire life.)

There’s a YouTube link down below, if you want to check out a playlist of some of my work.

I’d love to hear back and work with you.
Have an Amazing Rest of Your Day,
(MY NAME)
 
I absolutely love your subject. I would open that email too.
Your subject and body are both good.
In my experience, you want your email to be short and to the point.
Maybe you could consider a smaller body like the one below?


Subject: I’m 17, Can I Help Out?
Body:
Hi Mr. (NAME)!

I saw videos posted by your (DEALERSHIP/COMPANY) about your (CARS/SERVICE) but your videos should be getting much more likes and views, especially with (NUMBER) followers.

I’m 17 years old, and I understand SM better than most people. I can help strengthen your presence on SM and grow your following/views.
(I’m also certified in Marketing, and I’ve been a car enthusiast my entire life.)

There’s a YouTube link down below, if you want to check out a playlist of some of my work.

I’d love to hear back and work with you.
Have an Amazing Rest of Your Day,
(MY NAME)

Here's a shorter one I had before.

Subject: Mr/Ms. NAME, I'm 17 - Can I Help?

Hi Mr/Ms. NAME!

Hope you’re doing well. Don’t want to waste your time, I’ll keep this short.

Was scrolling IG, saw your page and how it lacked interactions, even with (NUMBER) followers.

I’m 17 years old and was wondering if I could make you quality content for your page.

I understand SM & the algorithm better than most, due to my age.


Here’s a YouTube Playlist of some of my editors’ work. It's built to showcase editing abilities.
(link)

Shoot back an email if you’re interested!

Have a Great Day,
My Name


I might also replace "Was scrolling IG, saw your page and how it lacked interactions, even with (NUMBER) followers. " with "I saw your job posting on Indeed, noticed you were in need of a Social Media Manager, especially with your lack of interactions on SM"

If I contact dealers on Indeed who are looking for SM managers, I'm more likely to get a reply.